During last week’s season premiere on Saturday Night Live, host Chris Rock reacted to the news that Donald Trump had tested positive for the coronavirus by saying, “My heart goes out to COVID.”
One week later, the president has seemingly recovered from the virus and is already back to delivering speeches to packed crowds. “Weekend Update” co-anchor Michael Che had trouble hiding his disappointment on this week’s episode.
“President Trump claimed to have survived the coronavirus,” Che reported, adding, sarcastically, “Yay!”
“I’m not going to say I’m disappointed, but it’s kind of like when there’s a car crash and the only survivor is the drunk driver,” he continued. “Trump said him getting COVID was, quote, a ‘blessing from God.’ And I bet even God was like, ‘Hey, we tried, guys.’”
“Actually, maybe we should be more optimistic about this,” Che said. “I mean, there’s two ways we can look at it. Either Trump’s telling the truth and we finally have a cure for COVID. Or Trump is lying and he’s still going to die. I’m not going to say that’s a win-win, but it’s definitely not a lose-lose.”
Picking up where his co-anchor left off, Colin Jost added, “I also have to say, it’s amazing to watch a guy have a near-death experience and learn nothing from it. It’s like watching someone smoke through the hole in their neck.”
Showing footage of Trump throwing MAGA hats to his supporters during a rally when he was likely already positive for the virus, Jost said, “He’s like an evil Oprah. ‘You’re getting COVID! You’re getting COVID! You’re getting COVID! And look under your seats, it’s a ventilator!’”
“This is a dark show,” Che admitted, before moving on the treatment that the president believes “cured” him.
“President Trump said that a therapeutic drug from Regeneron, which is derived from stem cells, is the cure for COVID,” he said, “which seemed unlikely, unfounded, irresponsible, and I can’t wait to buy 1,000 shares of Regeneron baby juice stock.”
“It’s kind of funny that these old Republicans are so anti-abortion when it comes to everybody else,” Che concluded, “but then they do a complete 180 as soon as stem cells can save their lives or when I get their daughter pregnant.”
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